FAMILY EDITION
The Freelance Parent G ET YOUR SHOES ON PLEASE’ I yell, before quickly quieting my voice and sighing deeply. “Please, please boys, Columnist Cat Hufton talks school run struggles and the campaign for more equal childcare
just come here and put your shoes on.” I can feel myself becoming sweatier and sweatier as I crouch in our narrow hallway, sandwiched between my two sons, my toddler pulling on my hair and demanding I find a tiny toy he hasn’t mentioned for at least six weeks. Meanwhile, my five-year- old has laid on the floor, his legs seemingly turned to jelly. “Why are they so hard to put ooonnn,” he drawls, attempting to put his shoes on with his feet and no hands. “HERE! I reply,” shoving them on as he remains defiant in his limpness. Five or ten minutes later (after my son then decided he needed the loo), we were out the door. I feel slightly traumatised, yet victorious. We march on towards the school and I put on a slightly strained, smiling face as we start bumping into other parents. “I had a total s**t show this morning,” one remarks. “Me too,” I reply. “I already need wine,” says another. It’s no exaggeration when I say the school run can be the most stressful part of my day. With all the good cheer and preparation possible, those last few minutes of getting out of the door always seem to be utter chaos. Suffice to say, I breathe a big sigh of relief when it’s my husband’s day to take the reins. At my sons’ school, pick-up and drop- off is a job shared equally by both mums and dads. It’s a very heartening display of equal parenting and one my mother-in-law is always surprised by. I hear it was not like this in 80s Peterborough. For many fathers, though, taking an equal share of the childcare load isn’t always that easy, and research published by Bright Horizons in 2023 revealed that one in three working dads do not feel comfortable talking to their employer about their family commitments for fear of reprisal. It’s this stigma which a new campaign called Parenting Out Loud is trying to challenge. The initiative, launched in April, is spearheaded by Elliott Rae – a campaigner, speaker, author and founder of Music Football Fatherhood, a parenting platform for dads. The campaign seeks to normalise the conversation about male caring across society and support dads to be proud, unapologetic and transparent about their childcare responsibilities at work. He and
his team will do this with a culture change programme, where willing businesses will receive a range of support systems such as organisation-wide workshops and webinars, resources to support the formation and running of a staff dad’s network, as well as coaching for new dads. This, he says, will lead to further paternity leave take-up, more men working flexibly and part time, an increased number of dads normalising caregiving in the workplace, plus empowered and active male allies. “When children have engaged and positive parental involvement from a dad, they produce better results in regard to resilience, education and behavioural outcomes at school,” Elliott said at the campaign’s launch. “It’s also good for business. You’ll see the impact when you are open about your parental leave policies and flexible working; dads are loyal to that organisation. They will stay.” Happier families, more supportive employers and better help on the school run – now who can say fairer than that?
Cat Hufton is a freelance journalist and creator of The Freelance Parent, a weekly newsletter dedicated to thriving professionally and personally post- procreation. You can find her on Substack at cathufton.substack. com and follow her on Twitter @CatHufton ABOUT CAT
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