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A new way of parenting Legal experts FM Family Law explore co-nesting as a living arrangement for children after parental separation
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What is co-nesting? Also known as nesting or bird nesting, co-nesting is a living arrangement ensuing separation or divorce, allowing children to remain at the family home while their parents each take turns living between the home and at alternative accommodation. When not at home, parents may choose to stay with friends or family, in a hotel, house-sit, rent a room or split the cost of a small apartment/house big enough for one person at a time. Benefits of co-nesting With co-nesting, children maintain a sense of stability and continuity, helping support them through their parents’ separation. They get to stay in their own rooms, go to the same schools and maintain their own routines. There may also be financial advantages in the short term, as there is no need to fund the cost of two households – each large enough for the children to stay in. This is likely to be of particular significance for separated parents, given the recent financial pressure families have experienced in the wake of the cost-of- living crisis.
Suitability of co-nesting Co-nesting often requires cooperation between separated parents. There must be respect and trust between the parents and healthy boundary-setting to manage co-existing in the same space – albeit at different times. Generally, co-nesting is more suitable when separation is amicable with healthy communication between parents. It is unlikely to be appropriate in cases where there are allegations of domestic or child abuse – or if there are safeguarding concerns. Set out for success There are a number of ways parents can set themselves up for co-nesting success. • Agree ground rules : Draw up a set of rules and expectations, including a parenting plan where each parent will be and when, how financial commitments will be met, share of responsibilities in the home, preferences and boundaries. • Involve the children : If the children are of an appropriate age, they can take part in the decision-making process. This would be typical for children of about ten years of age and upwards.
If you would like to speak with the team of specialist family lawyers about co-nesting or child care arrangements generally, contact them on 01223 355333. The information contained in this article is intended for general informational purposes and should not be considered legal advice While it may sound like a positive outcome for co-parenting in the short to mid-term – as well as at critical stages in a child’s life – co-nesting is unlikely to work effectively as a long-term solution. It inevitably sustains a level of connection between separated parents, which could cause difficulty at a time when a sense of closure or starting afresh is what’s needed. Co-nesting also fails to achieve financial separation, which may leave parents feeling vulnerable and unable to attain independence. • Have a backup : Parents should always consider a backup plan in the event something unexpected arises, such as sickness or issues with travel. Plan for the longer term
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