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Recognising gaslighting Hannah Byatt, senior associate on the Family Law team at Tees Law, discusses this hidden form of domestic abuse
D omestic abuse doesn’t always leave visible scars. One of the more insidious forms of abuse is gaslighting – a psychological tactic used to manipulate and control someone by making them doubt their own memory, perception or sanity. What is gaslighting? The term ‘gaslighting’ originates from the 1944 film Gaslight , in which a husband deliberately dims the lights and denies the change to make his wife believe she is losing her mind. In real life, this form of coercion is often subtle, sustained over time… and deeply damaging.
Gaslighting is typically used to: • Undermine confidence • Isolate victims from support • Gain psychological control
It is common in abusive relationships and can leave victims feeling confused, anxious and dependent on their abuser. How gaslighting works Gaslighting rarely happens in isolation. It usually involves a pattern of behaviour, which might include: • Denial and distortion. Abusers might insist something didn’t happen or twist the facts: “You’re imagining it.” • Blame shifting. Making the victim feel responsible: “You’re overreacting.” • Memory manipulation. Challenging the victim’s version of events: “You’re remembering it wrong.” • Projection. Accusing the victim of the very behaviours they’re experiencing: “You’re the one gaslighting me.” • Minimising feelings. Dismissing
emotions as dramatic or irrational. • Triangulation. Using others to reinforce the abuser’s narrative: “Even your friends agree with me.” • Stonewalling. Refusing to discuss the issue: “Not this again.” • False concern. Masking control as care: “I’m only saying this because I love you.” These tactics, especially when used in tandem and over time, can have a severe emotional and psychological impact. Is gaslighting a criminal offence? Yes – under section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015, repeated gaslighting can constitute an act of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship, which is a recognised criminal offence. In 2022, the High Court explicitly acknowledged the term ‘gaslighting’, a significant move that has helped to bring greater recognition to this form of non- physical abuse in family proceedings. While many victims might feel reluctant to seek
If you’re in immediate danger, always call 999. To speak confidentially with a member of our family law team, visit teeslaw.com or call 0800 013 1165. Visit the Cambridge office at 3 Journey Campus, Castle Park, Castle Street CB3 0AY know might be experiencing gaslighting or other forms of abuse, we are here to help. help if there is no visible evidence, the family courts are now far more aware of the realities of psychological abuse and better equipped to respond to it. How Tees can help At Tees, our family law solicitors have extensive experience helping clients escape abusive relationships and secure the protection they need. We can support you in applying for protective orders such as non-molestation or occupation orders, and we work closely with local domestic abuse services to ensure comprehensive support. If you believe you or someone you
TURN OFF THE GASLIGHT The Family Law team at Tees can help in cases of control or coersion
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