FAMILY LAW
it’s important to keep the focus on creating a positive, memorable holiday experience for them,” she continues. “Maintain some routines for stability, but allow space for fun activities. Handovers can take place at a neutral location, such as a supermarket, to help minimise stress if this is an issue.” Fiona urges parents to let their children share how they’re feeling as much as possible, while reassuring them that it’s OK to enjoy time with both parents. “It’s really important, regardless of the child’s age, to make them feel heard and that their feelings matter,” she continues. “This doesn’t mean following exactly what your child wants or asks for, but acknowledging their feelings is important for their self- esteem and wellbeing.” The best outcome for all Of course, the reality of life means that it’s not always possible for separated parents to communicate directly. If this rings true, Clare advises that a co-parenting app or some form of non-court dispute resolution might be more suitable. “Many families use mediation, parental coordination or negotiation through solicitors to reach KEEPING THINGS CIVIL Tees Law and FM Family Law give their expert advice for how to manage a complex situation with calm and clarity
parental rights are not about asserting control, but about ensuring the child’s needs are met,” she explains. “Day-to-day decisions about what a child wears and eats don’t have to be made in consultation with each other and, because of this, it can cause some confusion for parents about which decisions they must make with the other parent and which they don’t have to.” Fiona adds that a common issue during the school holidays concerns deciding who children spend time with; especially if both parents want the same dates, have clashing commitments at work or one parent wishes to take a child away. This, of course, requires the other parent’s permission. “Children might feel torn between parents or unsettled by frequent changes in routine or environment,” Fiona says. “If there isn’t a clear plan or agreed method of communication, misunderstandings can lead to conflict.” A lack of routine or neutral ground can make these exchanges stressful for both parents and children. Working together So, what can you do to make co-parenting as smooth and amicable as possible during
the holidays? Clare at Tees Law suggests that, wherever possible, you should plan ahead so that logistical disagreements can be ironed out early, and create a holiday routine in advance. “Once arrangements have been agreed, think about how to communicate them clearly to the children and consider their ages when doing so. Perhaps use a family calendar to keep track as well.” You might also want to try to avoid common pain points such as expecting children to pass on messages for you. Instead, consider their needs and whether it’s appropriate to consult the children. “Wherever possible, co-parents should try to agree on arrangements between them as adults, but the children’s voices should also be heard,” she adds. Likewise, Fiona believes that it’s important to have a degree of flexibility. “Life happens. Sometimes an unexpected illness or work commitments mean that plans need to change slightly. A spirit of cooperation goes a long way,” she says. As such, prioritising children’s experience of their holiday is integral. “School holidays can be very exciting times for children, so
76 MAY 2025 CAMBSEDITION.CO.UK
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