FAMILY EDITION
IN IT TOGETHER
Finding Contentment in CO-PARENTING
Experts open up on navigating the transition from a partner to a parent relationship, plus more child-rearing queries D efined simply as ‘sharing the duties of bringing up a child’ (used especially of parents who are separated or not in WORDS BY PHOEBE HARPER
WHY NOW? Although there are currently no statistics available for the number of co-parenting families in the UK, a general surge can be attributed to a whole range of factors, with some studies suggesting such arrangements increased under times of lockdown during the Covid-19 pandemic. In an age where mental health and wellbeing are widely discussed and highly prioritised, co-parenting emerges as a natural solution founded on protecting the emotional stability of children involved, placing their best interests at the forefront when navigating separation. In addition, changing social norms and rising divorce statistics mean separation no longer faces the same stigma as it has done historically. It’s a change of attitude that Ann Robinson, partner and head of the family law team at Blacks Solicitors, has witnessed first-hand. “Parents now approach childcare responsibilities entirely differently to when I started as a trainee solicitor in the 80s,” she recalls. “Fathers are now much less likely to accept a marginalised role in their children’s lives, compared to the ‘McDonald’s father’ role from back then, where many just saw their children for a few hours at the weekend!”
a relationship), co-parenting has always existed in some form. In recent years, there has been an increase in families pursuing this as a post-separation resolution or applying the co-parenting label to their personal situation. “It’s about crafting a new narrative that spotlights collaboration over conflict and prioritises the needs of the children,” comments family anxiety support specialist Cai Graham. In the ever-evolving landscape of the modern family, co-parenting has risen in prominence alongside other buzzwords – like platonic parenting, conscious uncoupling and blended families – as phrases that have garnered significant media attention from the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow. As a result, such terms can be bandied around by parents without a full understanding of the real implications, says Nick Gova, head of family law at London- based firm Spector Constant & Williams. “People who are wishing to truly co-parent attempt to deal with matters amicably and proportionately, with the children’s best wishes at the forefront.”
Aside from personal motivations that indicate a preference for both biological parents to be involved in raising a child, recent shifts in the UK’s legal framework have also created a more facilitating environment for potential co-parents. “The advent of no-fault divorce for parents who are married from April 2022 has improved circumstances enabling separated parents to co-parent their children,” observes Sarah Overy, a partner in the family team of Birketts’ Cambridge office. This effectively means that parents can now proceed with joint divorce without having to apportion blame. Family mediation has significantly evolved as a child-focused process which endeavours to avoid conflict, too. Finally, the technology we now have can be extremely effective in streamlining communication and the logistics central to any successful co-parenting arrangement – whether it’s shared calendars for better organisation or instant communication between both parents and children. HOW TO GO ABOUT IT? Dr Vasanti Jadva is a researcher from the Centre for Family Research at Cambridge University. In 2015, the centre published findings from a study examining the motivations of potential co-parents searching for a partner online. Currently, they are analysing data from a more recent in-depth study focusing on the experiences of parents who entered into a co-parenting arrangement and have a child aged between 0-12 years.
TEAM EFFORT Co-parenting can be a tricky road, but working together can make it easier for all
52 FEBRUARY 2024 CAMBSEDITION.CO.UK
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